Do you want to improve your personal and professional relationships? Do you want to become a more effective leader in your life and your organization? Do you want to create a more fulfilling life for yourself? Then you need to cultivate the foundation stone of true presence. What is true presence? It’s the ability to be still, listen, focus and witness what is happening. It’s the ability to be in your body, feel your feelings and acknowledge the feelings and content of what’s in front of you, whether it’s a person, or a circumstance.

We’ve all experienced what it isn’t. It’s the friend or loved one who is checking their phone repeatedly during a conversation. It’s the partner who shows up late, is absent and/or often cancels at the last minute. It’s the boss who isn’t interested in what you have to say because they are too busy with something else. It’s the parent who is engaged elsewhere or lost in an addiction when their child needs their love and attention. It’s when we move through the world in dream land, disconnected from our bodies, the people and the world around us. Being on the receiving end feels awful and if it continues over time, it not only tanks relationships, it tanks the effectiveness to create the personal life we want, and in our jobs it can lead to being moved into a lame duck position or fired.

It’s only from true presence that transformation, connection, and the ability to influence change occurs. If you’re not present, you aren’t seeing, hearing or feeling what is going on around you and you have no power to engage. It’s a paradox that one of the most powerful ways to affect change and healing is to be still, present and listen without trying to change what is inside you or in front of you. Science bears this out. Quantum Physics experiments have shown that being present and witnessing sub-atomic particles affects change in how they behave with no other action on the part of those conducting the experiment.

This is counter to our Western culture, where we are taught to be ‘doing something’ all the time. We are either so eager to act or afraid to act, we completely miss the part about creating the foundation stone of true presence first.

So how do you cultivate and strengthen your presence? Get out of your head and engage the five senses of the body through the following  practices:
– To quiet the mind, mindfulness exercise and meditation of any kind that resonates for you
– To get into the body, practice awareness of body sensation – tension, temperature, heartbeat, breath. Exercise without input from any kind of screen or music, take walks in nature and engage your five senses, practice yoga. When sitting, feel your feet on the ground and the textures of the furniture.
– When listening to someone, don’t practice in your head what you’re going to say next while they are talking. Really listen to what they are saying, then reflect that back to them to make sure you heard them right. Just ‘be’ with them.
– Be curious about your emotional life. What happens in your body when you are angry, sad, happy, etc.

In coaching we talk about the ‘being’ and ‘doing’ in life. True presence of our ‘being’ must be anchored before any ‘doing’ happens for us to be effective. It’s like a muscle that you use and strengthen. Practice this and not only will your fulfillment and effectiveness increase, you will receive feedback from those close to you about the change they witness in you.

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked successfully with individuals and for corporate clients that include Cargill, Medtronic and Stantec. Contact her for more information and a complimentary coaching session.

By Sabrina Roblin

Change = Transition and they are happening all the time in one or more of the following areas of our lives: work, health, finances, relationship and home.  Transitions present challenges that bring up fear, as well as opportunities to stretch into a more authentic and fulfilling expression of who we are.  They can also grow us into our next level of personal and professional leadership if we embrace them well. The most challenging transitions are the ones that are out of our control, such as when we have a health issue pop up suddenly, our partner leaves us, or we are let go from a job.  Life as we knew it is gone and we are thrown into a process of grief and loss at the same time that we must step up to redesign our lives.  Even the happy transitions such as marriage, buying a new home, and being promoted, hold both challenge and opportunity.

Attending to the following six areas will support you in successfully managing the challenges and living into the opportunities of your life transitions:

Self care- make self care a daily practice.  Choose what brings you the most comfort and peace.  This could include rest, journaling, meditation, music, time with a loved one or a hot bath.

Feelings- Remember you are a human BEing.  It’s important to feel what you feel, including joy and pain so they move through you.  They show you what needs to be attended to and help you stay connected to what’s true and alive in you.  When you stuff them they can turn toxic, keeping you from moving forward in your life and growing into a more authentic expression of yourself, which are two of the greatest opportunities of any change.

Fear- this feeling deserves its own category.  Letting fear run unmanaged can undermine your well-being and freeze you into inaction.  Getting out of your head and into your body through singing, dancing, walking and other forms of exercise are all effective ways of managing fear.  Also, gaps in information can create fear. Ask yourself, ‘what do I need to learn or know in order to make a more informed choice in the situation?’

Attitude/perspective- it has been proven through research that a positive attitude makes all the difference in making it through challenging circumstances.  Pay attention to your thoughts and create a positive story about who you are and how you are going to succeed.  Making a list of at least 20 and up to 100 qualities, strengths and blessings you have will assist with this.

An attitude of gratitude supported by a daily practice is an important source of comfort, encouragement and strength.  (Check out my blog, The Essential Practice of Giving Thanks.)

Action- take action that is both self supporting and moves you forward in your life.  Inform your action through creating a vision and plan for where you want to be on the other side of the transition.

Support- we are tribal creatures and thrive in community.  Gather the support you need based on your circumstances, whether it be friends, loved ones, work colleagues, a therapist or a coach.

Most coaching clients are in one or more transitions in their personal or professional lives, and through coaching have created breakthroughs, and stepped into a new level of fulfillment and leadership. You can too.

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute. Contact her for more information and a sample session.

Chrysalis image from Suzanne D. Williams

These are challenging times. Every day there is something in the news that I find upsetting. All month I’ve been wondering what to blog about and have felt at a loss as to what would be most useful to my clients and readers. I’ve considered the topic of the many faces of love, holding a positive vision no matter what, self-care, being a warrior, and no one topic seems big enough against the backdrop of the challenges we’re facing.

What impacted me the most this month was the shooting at the high school in Parkland, Florida. That had me put my pen down. First, was the impact of the event itself and then the insane response of arming teachers and basically turning our schools into prisons. I’ve been dumbfounded by the greed and insanity of it all. When I haven’t felt shocked, I’ve felt angry, sad and mad. I’ve written letters, made calls and signed petitions in line with my belief that we need to follow the example of Japan, Australia and other industrialized nations who have sane and effective gun laws. I am so proud of the students in Parkland who are speaking out and taking a stand. They are showing us what leadership and being a warrior looks like. I’m so grateful for their voice and the changes they have already inspired.

As I write this I know that no one thing is the answer to the challenges we face and its the simple wisdoms and practices that are the most powerful – having tea with a friend, taking a hot bath, writing a letter, making a phone call, turning to a meaningful spiritual practice, acknowledging feelings, going for a walk, playing with the dog, speaking up, taking a stand, attending to what is right in front of us whatever that might be, and being in integrity with ourselves.

Those topics I’ve been pondering all month are important – expressing love in all its many faces, holding a positive vision no matter what the circumstances, good self-care and being a warrior. Most importantly, holding on to what is good no matter what. During these times we all need an array of tools we can draw upon and a support system of people we love. So choose whatever resonates most for you. And remember, as my mentor Patrick O’Neill always says, we are never overmatched by our circumstances. We always have the skills, talents, and character qualities we need to meet any challenge.

Challenging times do offer the greatest opportunity for growth and transformation. If you are ready to reach for what these times are calling forth in you and want to move into a more authentic life, please contact me for a complimentary coaching and mentoring session.

By Sabrina Robin

Gaps exist everywhere in our lives. They exist between our vision of what we want, and the
 reality of what is – in ourselves, our lives, our loved ones, and the world. In ourselves, it can be
 a skill we want to master and yet when we apply it we experience mediocrity and failure. Or a
 dream that we haven’t been able to manifest. With a spouse or friend it could be our vision of
 how an important conversation will go to resolve a misunderstanding that then goes wrong. In
 our work, it could be an employee in whom we see great potential who just isn’t stepping up to 
the plate. And it seems the gaps out there in the world are bigger than ever these days as
 evidenced by the polarity we see on important issues in the news. Gaps can be painful. Our 
human lives are full of them. The discomfort can challenge and scare us, or inspire us to action
 and positive change. Sometimes they do both.

I used to ask why all the gaps and how can I fix or change them so they all go away? Then it
 occurred to me that there are much more empowering questions to ask….

What would it be like to embrace the gap? 



What is available there? What would it take to bridge it? Who would I become if I embarked on that journey? As I started to ask those questions and led my clients to
 look for the answers, I realized that it’s in embracing the gap that we find the treasure – learning,
 new possibility, creativity, imagination, mystery, courage, rectification, connection and
 transformation.

Embracing the gap can be scary and uncomfortable. If we can do it with
 courage and curiosity, learning and transformation can occur.
 So when you feel that discomfort or longing in the gap, don’t be tempted to cover up the 
feelings with overworking, withdrawing or denial…embrace them instead.

If you want an
 experienced guide for the journey, hire a good coach. It’s what we do best.
 And remember, life isn’t just about closing the gap, it’s about who we become in the process.

Contact me for a complimentary sample session and start your journey of transformation.