3 Essential Qualities for Navigating Great Change

 

The pandemic has thrown us into unknown territory individually and collectively with an uncertain future ahead of us.  Some of my clients are thriving in spite of the great changes.  Some are struggling with fear, anxiety, depression, a short fuse, and lack of clarity about the next steps to take.  Whether you’re in the former or the latter category, here are three essential qualities for navigating times of great change – perspective, courage and flexibility.

Perspective

“…What happens is of little significance compared with the stories we tell ourselves about what happens.” ― Rabih Alameddine, The Hakawati

Perspective creates a filter for the way we see something and defines how we react to a specific situation.  For example, if we see the impact of the current pandemic as a hopeless situation, we will tell ourselves stories that build a case to verify that as a truth.  Then it’s unlikely we’ll see any creative solutions or actions for creating positive change.  If we see the pandemic as an opportunity for growth and transformation, we will be less anxious and more open to creative solutions for change.  The first step is to name the perspective.  What is your perspective on your current situation?  Is that serving you?  If not, brainstorm additional perspectives and consciously choose one that is inspiring and generates the energy for creativity and action towards the outcomes you want.

Courage

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief.  It is a quality of spirit, heart and conduct.  To be courageous in the face of fear and challenging circumstances, it helps to be clear about what you value most in life and what you stand for.  What gives you the courage to keep going even if it’s one step at a time, one day at a time?  Make yourself a list of what you can’t live without and that you are willing to fight for.  Examples are family, health, integrity, beauty –  identify your top 10.  This will help you keep moving forward in the face of fear.

Flexibility 

Flexibility is the ability to change or to bend easily without breaking, like bamboo.  As things change, the landscape of our life and work can change with it requiring us to let go of old ways of doing and thinking.  Flexibility is the ability to stretch ourselves, learn, yield to forces beyond our control and stay strong.  In what area of your life would benefit from being more flexible and adapting to change?

And through it all, self-care, self-care, self-care to cultivate resilience, as it’s only in a resilient place that we are present and able to respond creatively to what life throws at us.

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked successfully with individuals both independently and inside organizations in manifesting their goals and dreams, and in creating a meaningful next chapter in their lives.  Contact her for more information and a complimentary coaching session.

 

Resiliency NOW! Tools

resiliency

It has been a while since I’ve written a blog as the first quarter of the year has been one of pivoting to meet the challenges of the pandemic and resulting quarantine.  I have been reassessing my commitment to my own priorities and self-care as well as the best way to serve my clients, that is in line with my values and purpose.

What I’ve become clear about is that I’m most passionate about your well-being, your ability to be fully engaged in life and have your desired impact in your family, work and community.  You, me, all of us are needed now more than ever – especially coaches and other professionals in the service of human development, leadership and well-being.

Well-being/resiliency comes first so you can be present in your life; then fully engage your gifts, talents and experience; and from there your desired impact in the world.  By fully showing up and being present with who are truly are, you bring needed medicine to the world.  By doing that you experience fulfillment and prosperity in mind, body and spirit, and impact others to experience the same. Growth and healing happen in the process.  That’s what I’m about in my practice!

Resiliency = Presence = Full Engagement = Desired Impact =
Fulfillment, Prosperity, Growth & Healing

As resiliency comes first and is greatly needed right now, I’ve put together a one-hour resiliency training based on my certification as a trainer in the Community Resiliency Model ® created by the Trauma Resource Institute which will be at no cost during the quarantine.  I was introduced to this model at a very difficult time in my life where I was overcome with stress and grief due to multiple losses and wasn’t able to move forward in my life.  Through applying the wellness skills in the model, I shifted my experience to one of inner peace and resiliency, and started to enjoy and rebuild my life. I was so impressed that I became a certified trainer of the model in 2018 so I could teach the knowledge and skills to others.

These are skills I’ve been integrating in my coaching for a couple of years now with positive outcomes for my clients. I’m so grateful for my training as I’m using the skills every day right now and they are keeping me resilient in this time of high stress and uncertainty! They will support you personally, as well as your clients, and you can start using them immediately.

Here are some tips to support your Resiliency NOW!:

  • Create a self-care plan including a morning practice that supports your well-being. (Don’t start your day with the news or your cell phone, that comes later.)  A morning practice could include yoga, mindfulness, giving thanks, inspirational reading, or anything else that supports you in body, mind and spirit.
  • Create time blocks in your day to engage in an activity that brings you joy and calm – a hobby, time in the garden if you have one, a talk with a friend, etc.
  • Create a daily gratitude practice if you don’t already have one.
  • Rather than trying to be productive throughout the day, look for some solace in the ways life has slowed down during the quarantine. Embrace stillness and quiet time as an opportunity for healing and redreaming your life.

I’ve always been Coaching for Impact, I just didn’t realize it and was not able to articulate that before.  I love that in coaching I can bring all of my professional and spiritual training to my clients, empower them to step into their desired impact, and witness the results.  It’s so incredibly fulfilling both witnessing them and the ripple effect they create in their families, work and communities.

So don’t wait – the time is now – the world needs you!

Schedule a Discovery Session, learn more resiliency tools and tips, and create your desired impact in the world.

Schedule Now

Be sure to visit my Resiliency NOW! site for more information.

Practice Generosity and Give Thanks

The season of generosity and giving thanks is upon us. These two simple practices can transform lives, open hearts, and pave the way for abundance. They act like glue to connect us and weave together the fabric of our culture and our humanity. Changing a life with these two practices can happen in even a brief interaction as I experienced in my youth.

I was only about 12 years old and it was a tough time for me. My parents had a dinner party and one of the couples picked up on my suffering over the course of the evening. When we finished eating, I was invited out on the front deck for a conversation that couldn’t have lasted more than 15 minutes or so. This guest asked me a few questions, expressed gratitude for the evening, acknowledged me, told me to hang in there, and then removed a silk scarf he was wearing and gave it to me. It had the symbol of the astrological sign Taurus on the scarf, which is my sign, and apparently it was his too. I was deeply touched by the interaction with this person I’d only just met. It softened my heart and gave me hope for the future. I never saw him again after that. To this day, I still treasure that scarf and the memory. Every time I see the scarf in the closet or pull it out to wear it, it reminds me that one act of generosity in even a brief interaction can impact a person for a lifetime.

These are practices of the heart and they are much needed, especially in the rough and divisive times of change in which we find ourselves. And in case one story isn’t enough to convince you, research shows the following: giving thanks to a significant other on a regular basis is one of the markers of a lasting relationship, customers are more likely to stay loyal and buy again when they receive thanks for their business, and people who have a daily practice of giving thanks for whatever gave them joy and meaning during the day, experience more well-being than those who don’t.

So, don’t ever underestimate the power of generosity and giving thanks. During this holiday season, take the opportunity to give and receive both, whether to an individual or a non-profit serving your community. You never really know the positive impact it can have, and it will make warm your heart and make you feel good about yourself to boot.

Happy Holidays!

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked successfully with individuals both independently and inside organizations in manifesting their goals and dreams, and in creating a meaningful next chapter in their lives.  Contact her for more information and a complimentary coaching session.

Five Essentials for Managing Fear

fear and courage

Fear is a part of being human and can activate the fight, flight or freeze response at times when clear decision-making and creative action are needed.  Especially in these times of upheaval in the world, knowing some antidotes and tools for managing it day-to-day can make all the difference in your well-being and success.

Most of the clients I work with are either at the effect of change or are actively creating change in their lives in order to manifest a project, dream or their next more meaningful chapter in their lives.  Fear is a natural part of the process, so working with it is an important aspect of the coaching.  Unmanaged it keeps us from moving forward.  It impacts the heart, mind and body, affecting health, the ability to see opportunities, make decisions and connect to others.

Here are five ways to effectively manage fear:

“…All those who try to go it alone, too proud to be beholden for relief, are absolutely sure to come to grief.”     – Robert Frost

Lean into Your Support Team.  This is crucial.  Even though we have popular TV shows like Survivor, the truth is supportno one makes it alone.  We aren’t built that way.  We are tribal and it is through relationship that we thrive.  For every Olympian on the podium there are trainers, loved ones, colleagues, confidants and health specialists who have helped them get there.  Look around at the people in your personal and work life.  Do you have people in your life who will support and encourage you, who you can lean into and talk to when you are feeling fearful and unsure?  Who believe in you and have your back?  If so, lean into them.  If not, this is an important gap to fill in your life. We all need a safe harbor and wisdom for the way forward.

Build your Internal Resources.  What are the images, favorite memories, music, spiritual practices, ancestors etc. that support you and return you to your resilience and self-confidence?  Consciously stay connected to your internal resources and work with one or two main “go to’s” when you’re not afraid so you can easily call on them when you are.  Working with them can clear your mind, relax your body and get you present in the moment to the person in front of you or the task at hand.

Strengthen your Courage. The word comes from the Latin word ‘cor’ which means heart.  Courage is about having the strength of heart to act even in the face of fear.  It is also defined as strength in the face of pain, grief or difficulty.  In order to have courage you must be anchored in what you value most, be clear about your goals, and be willing to take a stand for them.  If you haven’t done the work yet to define what they are, take the time to do it.  Then each time you take a stand for them you will strengthen your courage.

Stay close in.  It’s important to have a vision of where you want to go and what you want to create in your life. It’s like having a destination on a map.  Where you can get tripped us is by keeping your focus on the gap between where you are today and the manifestation of the vision.  The gap can seem impossibly large and stoke your fear.  So, when it comes to the day-to-day, stay close in and just take the next step, then the next.  It’s like that metaphor you often hear about – build a wall one brick at a time.  It’s wise, it works! Unless you’ve figured out how to build a replicator like they have on the Starship Enterprise (wouldn’t that be fun!), know your destination but stay focused on completing the next step. When your mind goes racing to the future, engulfing you in overwhelm and fear, reel it back in.

singSing.  Yes, sing.  For those of you who don’t think you can, the Africans have a saying, “If you can walk you can dance, if you can talk you can sing”.  Singing activates the vagus nerve which connects the nervous system and the brain, relaxing both.  You can’t sing and be afraid at the same time, so whether it’s in the car, the shower, wherever…try it.  Even quiet humming works, although singing out will also inspire joy which will make everything better!

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked successfully with individuals both independently and inside organizations in manifesting their goals and dreams, and in creating a meaningful next chapter in their lives.  Contact her for more information and a complimentary coaching session.

Mongolian Lessons in Resourcefulness

I just returned from a trip to Mongolia – one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life.  The people showed more generosity, hospitality and resourcefulness than I’ve ever experienced.  When we were with the Reindeer People in their camp, they gave us their teepees to sleep in which were their homes.  One of the nights we were there, it rained and the Reindeer men put their blankets on the ground and slept in the rain so we, the strangers in their midst from the West, could sleep protected in their home with a warm fire.  I was stunned and deeply touched when I learned this the next morning.

What impressed me most was the resourcefulness of the people we encountered.  One day at our base camp near the White Lake in the Taiga, when we were scheduled to take a day trip in the 4 wheel drive cars, we were informed there was no diesel and it was expected “tomorrow”.  Our guides knew that tomorrow could mean any day in the future.  They didn’t grouse about their plight or wonder why it happened.  They didn’t sit down to ponder the meaning of this circumstance or how it messed with their plans.  They took it in stride and without a second thought they started problem solving.  They contacted the people they knew in a nearby village and within a couple of hours secured a van big enough to hold all of us with a full tank of gas and its own driver.  The van showed up at our yurt camp and off we went.  The van stayed with us until the diesel arrived.

I saw this kind of problem-solving and resourcefulness on a daily basis.  One of the women in our group injured her ankle and couldn’t walk on it.  A couple of days later, a pair of crutches appeared that our guides said they had delivered for her.  Picture being miles from any major city in a part of Mongolia where there are no roads to speak of, just dirt tracks and miles of open land and nomadic camps.  I sure didn’t see any FedEx trucks!  How they got them, I have no idea.  It was one of the daily miracles of resourcefulness that I experienced.  I learned as the trip progressed that no day was going to go the way we thought and a new way was always going to be found through any obstacle or problem.  And it wasn’t the kind of resourcefulness that was based in fierce independence like we’re used to in America.  It was connected to community.  The Mongolian people all showed up for each other, knowing that they would also need help one day or another.

We have become so comfortable in the West with everything from uninterrupted electricity and clean water in our homes, to mail that arrives on time, Ubers that show up at a click on our phones, and regular weekly garbage pick up, we’ve forgotten how to respond well to those things that disrupt our lives.  We have taken for granted and come to expect that things will go as planned.  When they don’t, we grouse, wonder ‘why me’, and have any number of feelings about it that wastes energy and can make the problem worse.

So the invaluable learning is to stay connected to your community at home and at work. Adopt a paradigm of resourcefulness, and ask for and give help and hospitality when it’s needed.  Whether it’s a project at work, the promotion you’ve always wanted, raising your kids or a relationship, expect that things aren’t going to go as planned because they very rarely do.  Our Western lifestyle just gives us the illusion that they will.  When they don’t, embrace it, roll up your sleeves and problem solve.  When they do as planned, embrace gratefulness.  Life is an amazing adventure filled with miracles and the unexpected.  Remember how blessed we are in our first world lives, and that even though we don’t always realize it, we need each other.

Thank you to my Mongolian friends for an unforgettable adventure that took me to the heart of what matters most.

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked successfully with individuals and for corporate clients that include Cargill, Medtronic and Stantec. Contact her for more information and a complimentary coaching session.