Love and Leadership

love and leadership

In a corporate environment, love can be a four letter word.  It’s just not used.  There is more sensitivity and fear about it in the workplace than ever before and yet leadership without love leads to tyranny and corruption.  We see it and experience it in the world daily.  So, what about love in the workplace?

What about the fear that if you show you care you will be taken advantage of, pushed aside, not respected?  Well, that’s what boundaries, discipline and structure are for.  Love alone will not lead a team or an organization and yet without it, leadership is not only unsustainable, it leads to breakdown, burnout, decreased productivity, diminished creativity and high turnover.

Research shows that people don’t leave jobs, they leave bosses, so if you want to recruit and keep top talent, in addition to your skills and experience, you have got to bring your heart to work.  Who are we without our hearts anyway?  We are not being human.  Without heart, work interactions are cold and transactional, resulting in the loss of caring, connection and humanity.

How do you show love in a corporate environment without getting yourself in trouble? You don’t have to use the actual ‘L’ word.  You show it through loving action – by caring enough to listen to, respect, acknowledge, empower, be curious about and show warmth to your employees and co-workers.  Of those, I’ve found the top three are listening, curiosity and acknowledgement.  So how is it done?

listeningListen with complete focus on the other person. Don’t be thinking about how you’ll respond, just be present and listen to them – their words, and the energy behind their words.  Then repeat back what you think you heard before responding to what was said.

Be curious by asking open ended questions rather than yes/no questions.  Examples are: “What did you learn? How can we turn this around?  What would make a difference?  How’s the family?”

Acknowledgement is more than saying, “great job”, to be effective it has to be specific – name what the person did and the positive impact it had.  Who or whaacknowledgementt did they impact and why?

In companies and teams where there is high productivity and low turnover, employees know they are loved, respected and cared for.  You won’t hear them use the ‘L’ word, but that is the ingredient that keeps them coming back.  You make a difference every day in how you show up, so make it a positive one.  Don’t leave your heart at home.  Express love through the practices of listening, curiosity and acknowledgement.  Add healthy boundaries and you will supercharge your leadership both personally and professionally.

 

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked successfully with individuals and for corporate clients that include Cargill, Medtronic and Stantec. Contact her for more information and a complimentary coaching session.

The Foundation Stone of True Presence

stillness

Do you want to improve your personal and professional relationships? Do you want to become a more effective leader in your life and your organization? Do you want to create a more fulfilling life for yourself? Then you need to cultivate the foundation stone of true presence. What is true presence? It’s the ability to be still, listen, focus and witness what is happening. It’s the ability to be in your body, feel your feelings and acknowledge the feelings and content of what’s in front of you, whether it’s a person, or a circumstance.

We’ve all experienced what it isn’t. It’s the friend or loved one who is checking their phone repeatedly during a conversation. It’s the partner who shows up late, is absent and/or often cancels at the last minute. It’s the boss who isn’t interested in what you have to say because they are too busy with something else. It’s the parent who is engaged elsewhere or lost in an addiction when their child needs their love and attention. It’s when we move through the world in dream land, disconnected from our bodies, the people and the world around us. Being on the receiving end feels awful and if it continues over time, it not only tanks relationships, it tanks the effectiveness to create the personal life we want, and in our jobs it can lead to being moved into a lame duck position or fired.

It’s only from true presence that transformation, connection, and the ability to influence change occurs. If you’re not present, you aren’t seeing, hearing or feeling what is going on around you and you have no power to engage. It’s a paradox that one of the most powerful ways to affect change and healing is to be still, present and listen without trying to change what is inside you or in front of you. Science bears this out. Quantum Physics experiments have shown that being present and witnessing sub-atomic particles affects change in how they behave with no other action on the part of those conducting the experiment.

This is counter to our Western culture, where we are taught to be ‘doing something’ all the time. We are either so eager to act or afraid to act, we completely miss the part about creating the foundation stone of true presence first.

So how do you cultivate and strengthen your presence? Get out of your head and engage the five senses of the body through the following  practices:
– To quiet the mind, mindfulness exercise and meditation of any kind that resonates for you
– To get into the body, practice awareness of body sensation – tension, temperature, heartbeat, breath. Exercise without input from any kind of screen or music, take walks in nature and engage your five senses, practice yoga. When sitting, feel your feet on the ground and the textures of the furniture.
– When listening to someone, don’t practice in your head what you’re going to say next while they are talking. Really listen to what they are saying, then reflect that back to them to make sure you heard them right. Just ‘be’ with them.
– Be curious about your emotional life. What happens in your body when you are angry, sad, happy, etc.

In coaching we talk about the ‘being’ and ‘doing’ in life. True presence of our ‘being’ must be anchored before any ‘doing’ happens for us to be effective. It’s like a muscle that you use and strengthen. Practice this and not only will your fulfillment and effectiveness increase, you will receive feedback from those close to you about the change they witness in you.

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked successfully with individuals and for corporate clients that include Cargill, Medtronic and Stantec. Contact her for more information and a complimentary coaching session.

The Heart of Christmas

heart of christmas

Christmas ignites a whole mix of emotions from delight to disappointment and in some strong dislike due to its commercialization. In others disappointed expectations in past family interactions or the religious context is a turn off.  I remember one year when I had a Christmas eve party at my home, my neighbor’s daughter brought a birthday cake.  When I asked who’s birthday it was, she said, “the baby Jesus”.  It was a ‘duh’ moment for me.  In all the holiday preparations, I had completely forgotten.  With the media noise, busyness and expectation it’s easy to forget the heart and spirit-centered origins of the holiday.

father christmas

There is love, compassion and generosity at the heart of Christmas and whether you’ve lost that along the way, or just need a reminder, it is possible to find a way back to it through story, love and intention.

The true story of St. Nicholas is one I find especially inspiring and compelling.  Our modern day Christmas tradition in the United States and beyond began with his love and generosity.  He was a third century bishop from what is now the coast of Turkey.  He was a shy man who didn’t want his generosity noticed, so each year on the day Christ’s birth was celebrated, he dropped gold and gifts for children in need down the chimney or through an open window of their house, and they often fell in a shoe or stocking that was set by the fireplace to dry.  When he became too old to do the gift giving himself, the town decided to continue the tradition they had come to love, which spread to other towns and from country to country, eventually becoming the story of good old St. Nick or Santa Claus that we know today.

St. Nicholas’ expression of love, generosity and compassion was so compelling, his legacy spread around much of the world and continues today almost 2,000 years after his death, which is remarkable.

xmas barnSo whatever your Christmas past has been, claim the heart of your Christmas present and future through conscious intention and action.  What is the compelling expression of love, compassion and generosity that will have a lasting impact on your family, friends and community this holiday season?  Each act of kindness, love and generosity touches lives and makes a difference in ways that are beyond measure not only for the recipient but for you the giver as well.

It’s up to each of us to keep St. Nicholas’ legacy alive, through the difference we make this holiday season.  Create and enjoy beauty through decorations, lights, the stockings, and generosity of spirit. Take in a favorite holiday movie, or just tell someone you love how much they mean to you.  Your heart will be gladdened by it.

May your home and heart be filled with love and laughter this holiday season.

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004. She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute. Contact her for more information and a sample session.

6 Tips for Successfully Navigating Change

change and transition

By Sabrina Roblin

Change = Transition and they are happening all the time in one or more of the following areas of our lives: work, health, finances, relationship and home.  Transitions present challenges that bring up fear, as well as opportunities to stretch into a more authentic and fulfilling expression of who we are.  They can also grow us into our next level of personal and professional leadership if we embrace them well. The most challenging transitions are the ones that are out of our control, such as when we have a health issue pop up suddenly, our partner leaves us, or we are let go from a job.  Life as we knew it is gone and we are thrown into a process of grief and loss at the same time that we must step up to redesign our lives.  Even the happy transitions such as marriage, buying a new home, and being promoted, hold both challenge and opportunity.

Attending to the following six areas will support you in successfully managing the challenges and living into the opportunities of your life transitions:

Self care- make self care a daily practice.  Choose what brings you the most comfort and peace.  This could include rest, journaling, meditation, music, time with a loved one or a hot bath.

Feelings- Remember you are a human BEing.  It’s important to feel what you feel, including joy and pain so they move through you.  They show you what needs to be attended to and help you stay connected to what’s true and alive in you.  When you stuff them they can turn toxic, keeping you from moving forward in your life and growing into a more authentic expression of yourself, which are two of the greatest opportunities of any change.

Fear- this feeling deserves its own category.  Letting fear run unmanaged can undermine your well-being and freeze you into inaction.  Getting out of your head and into your body through singing, dancing, walking and other forms of exercise are all effective ways of managing fear.  Also, gaps in information can create fear. Ask yourself, ‘what do I need to learn or know in order to make a more informed choice in the situation?’

Attitude/perspective- it has been proven through research that a positive attitude makes all the difference in making it through challenging circumstances.  Pay attention to your thoughts and create a positive story about who you are and how you are going to succeed.  Making a list of at least 20 and up to 100 qualities, strengths and blessings you have will assist with this.

An attitude of gratitude supported by a daily practice is an important source of comfort, encouragement and strength.  (Check out my blog, The Essential Practice of Giving Thanks.)

Action- take action that is both self supporting and moves you forward in your life.  Inform your action through creating a vision and plan for where you want to be on the other side of the transition.

Support- we are tribal creatures and thrive in community.  Gather the support you need based on your circumstances, whether it be friends, loved ones, work colleagues, a therapist or a coach.

Most coaching clients are in one or more transitions in their personal or professional lives, and through coaching have created breakthroughs, and stepped into a new level of fulfillment and leadership. You can too.

sabrina roblinSabrina Roblin, CPCC has been a professional coach, mentor, and trainer since 2004.  She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute. Contact her for more information and a sample session.

Chrysalis image from Suzanne D. Williams

Living Well In Challenging Times

peace of lily pads

These are challenging times. Every day there is something in the news that I find upsetting. All month I’ve been wondering what to blog about and have felt at a loss as to what would be most useful to my clients and readers. I’ve considered the topic of the many faces of love, holding a positive vision no matter what, self-care, being a warrior, and no one topic seems big enough against the backdrop of the challenges we’re facing.

What impacted me the most this month was the shooting at the high school in Parkland, Florida. That had me put my pen down. First, was the impact of the event itself and then the insane response of arming teachers and basically turning our schools into prisons. I’ve been dumbfounded by the greed and insanity of it all. When I haven’t felt shocked, I’ve felt angry, sad and mad. I’ve written letters, made calls and signed petitions in line with my belief that we need to follow the example of Japan, Australia and other industrialized nations who have sane and effective gun laws. I am so proud of the students in Parkland who are speaking out and taking a stand. They are showing us what leadership and being a warrior looks like. I’m so grateful for their voice and the changes they have already inspired.

As I write this I know that no one thing is the answer to the challenges we face and its the simple wisdoms and practices that are the most powerful – having tea with a friend, taking a hot bath, writing a letter, making a phone call, turning to a meaningful spiritual practice, acknowledging feelings, going for a walk, playing with the dog, speaking up, taking a stand, attending to what is right in front of us whatever that might be, and being in integrity with ourselves.

Those topics I’ve been pondering all month are important – expressing love in all its many faces, holding a positive vision no matter what the circumstances, good self-care and being a warrior. Most importantly, holding on to what is good no matter what. During these times we all need an array of tools we can draw upon and a support system of people we love. So choose whatever resonates most for you. And remember, as my mentor Patrick O’Neill always says, we are never overmatched by our circumstances. We always have the skills, talents, and character qualities we need to meet any challenge.

Challenging times do offer the greatest opportunity for growth and transformation. If you are ready to reach for what these times are calling forth in you and want to move into a more authentic life, please contact me for a complimentary coaching and mentoring session.